Asphyxiation For Beginners

the end of another unfinished beginning

i can’t do this anymore, tumblr is totally gay and stuff and my crappy internet cant handle the interface, and i started college this year and i dont have the brain capacity to do this and that at the same time. when the superhumancrocodile returns, and it will, i will link the new stuff from here so anyone who finds this remnant of my life can continue the saga elsewhere. the superhumancrocodile bids you all farewell and much rejoicing for the future is bright and colourful and works on slow internets. k bye.

Skippy The Bush Kangaroo is My Dinner

My freaking awesome dinner.

This is what Skippy looks like just before I eat him.

This is my awesome salad with cottage cheese, which is awesome.

And some awesome chips I made. In peanut oil.

YUM.

I do not know much about farming, for I am not a farmer.

But i do know that without them we would have no beer or bread. 

For this i am quite thankful.

Thank you, farmers.

A nice picture + some words.

My brain has been not working very good much lately but I have done some things:

• My Subaru Brumby (“Brat” for americans) is fixed somewhat and now works properly, i can climb twice the mountains now.
• My TAFE (like “community college” for americans) enrollment has gone through and I will be studying Horticulture/Land conservation and management for the next year, four days a week.
• I finished Assassins Creed Brotherhood and am now pottering around buying up shops and monuments and fixing aqueducts.
• I have had to stop playing mid-week competition bowls, it was my favourite bowls game to play and i am really sad i can’t be there for the finals, which we will probably win. Saturday competition will have to suffice.
• I saw Blade Runner for the first time ever, the final cut.
• I bought The Big Lebowski on DVD, cos, why wouldn’t I?
• I cut my hair, it turned out pretty good, i’m getting good at cutting my own hair now.

So that covers the last week, in list form. Next week or maybe this weekend I will make something a bit more interesting but for now i thought a simple update on where i am would be good enough, plus ive had a couple of beers and in the future i will try to write things before i drink beer cos it doesnt seem to work as good when im technically “drunk”.

Anonymous asked: how old r you.?

i turn 24 in may

THE SUPERHUMANCROCODILE IS REAL.

Its Hot.

It’s hot today, at least 42 Celsius. So i took some photos to try and show a feeling of how hot it is, the pictures didn’t look hot enough so i ‘shopped them to look hotter, or to look as hot as it feels. Still didn’t quite work.

The ants seem to know how hot it is, i don’t know what theyre doing but they look like they’re freaking out, i wouldnt really know cos im not an entomologist, or a farmer. 

And this is all ive seen Pippa do all day, lazy dog. I spose i can’t talk, blogging and drinking beer all day.

Anyways i’m just chillen in front of my fan drinking Asahi super “dry” and waiting for it to cool down so me and my dad can watch Bladerunner on blu-ray which i got yesterday. I’ll probably be drinking a different kind of beer later on, maybe some Moretti, an italian beer.

just-andy asked: On a side note, is the title of your ask a True Blood reference by any chance?

my ask? no its a reference to south park. from that time cartman had those glasses and was saying “respect my authoritah!”.

EDIT: it just occured to me that it was originally Radioheads lyrics to 2+2=5 “don’t question my authority or put me in a box cos im not, cos im not” which i then put a slight south park spin on to read “question my authoratay”

Lyndoch

Today we went to Lyndoch to play bowls. The weather today was hot, at least 36 celsius, and as a result we only had to play 15 ends. Today was also the first time my Dad had been asked to be a skipper and I got to play with him. He did well, quite well, he didn’t yell at me once like some other skips do. In the end we were down overall by a few shots but our rink was up by one shot at least. Maybe if we had played a full 25 ends we could have made more of a difference but this is how it goes.

Thats what I look like when I play bowls.

Some Things.

I went for a drive to nuri and my car wouldnt work properly so I took the dirt roads back so as not to annoy people on the main roads as i was going really slow, I saw some things.

This old shed was cool, it was next to a giant cemetary for old cars. I couldn’t get any decent pics of the cars but this is cool enough.

Hay bales, or bales of something, i’m no farmer so I don’t know these things. It’s a nice pic tho.

This is my Subaru Brumby, it is totally awesome even when it doesn’t work properly.

Night Bowls

This week my team was slightly broken, but my Dad and T-man came and played for me. This was all going good until we found out who we had to play, the infamous Rotary Club.

Last year there were half as many teams and over 8 weeks playing two teams every tuesdey night you would expect to play at least a different team every few nights, but i swear, more often than not we ended up against the Rotary team. Now these guys come out every year for the night bowls competition and as a result they aren’t too shabby at the game, they definitely know what they are doing. Our team last year was full of beginners, including myself who had only played half a season by that time, and we almost won the whole competition ( i think we were about third or fourth) and i reason that if we were alowed to play against noobs and not rotary fifty times in a row, we would have won.

Back to the future and here we are again, having come up against Rotary twice in two games. Though this time they were short two players and as a result two club members stepped in. The first, playing lead was a 1st Division bowler, and second, playing third, a 3rd Division bowler with many years experience. We were lucky that my Dad was with us because he has been playing 1st Division for a short time and managed to even out the lead position. 

So we struggled for the most part and I withheld from drinking as many beers as i normally would so as to give our team a chance to win, we were off to a good start being up a few shots at the mid-way point but by the end it had evened out completely into a draw. The score in the end was 17 all, but we didn’t lose. We didn’t lose and thats all that matters. 

Next week we had better be playing against noobs, one team had 32 shots up plus 20 points for a win giving them 52 points all up, where we are sitting on 17, maybe 27 if we get 10 points for a draw, but im not sure. Eitherways, we better be playing against noobs, im going for at least a 30 point win.

Oh and $2 pizzas and hot dogs were freaking awesome.

i tried to make a post last night but tumblr was being gay, now i have to go play lawn bowls all day.

poetricallabyrinth asked: Hey there..

Im quite amazed by your camera collection. How many do you have?

not many, up until yesterday i only had 2. but i went to an op shop and found a few more interesting ones, theres another ricoh and two agfa agfamatics, im not sure if any of them work yet.